By Vince Mancuso, on Storage.com
Many people can agree that a storage unit can be a useful resource for those needing some additional space to store belongings. Using self storage can help secure your treasured items that you don’t have room for at home, they can be a place to store those things you only need every-so-often, and mini storage can even help you stash away items for the long term.
Being aware of self storage also helps you spot when others could benefit from the extra room. That neighbor down the street with the RV in his driveway? He could use self storage. That family that puts the Griswolds out at Christmas each year? They better be using a storage facility. Lord Voldermort needing to secure his horcruxes? He should have used a storage unit.
You read that right. While real life people often use self storage, imagine how movie characters could benefit from self storage awareness too! Here are five movies where characters should have used a storage unit.
1. “HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS”
PARTS 1 AND 2
As we mentioned previously, one of the best examples of someone who could benefit from storage is He Who Must Not Be Named. Spoiler alert for those who don’t read or haven’t caught a film in the last decade, but at this point in the series, we all know Harry, Hermione, and Ron are in a desperate search for the horcruxes, items in which Tom Riddle has placed fractions of his soul in an attempt to defeat death.
In the end, they find them all. Sure, Voldemort thought he did a good job hiding them, but his hiding spots were somewhat obvious—a necklace marked with his famous ancestors symbol, the vault of his most dedicated follower, and Hogwarts, a wizarding school he loved. The Golden Trio, heck- even Dumbledore, would have never expected The Dark Lord to use the Muggle-invention of a storage facility. Using advanced security features such as individually-alarmed units and on-site management, or maybe an alohomora-proof lock would ensure the safety of his horcruxes and souls. Sure, that means he takes over the wizarding world, but at least they wouldn’t be so secretive anymore. Still waiting on my Hogwarts letter…
2. “GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH”
You’d think after the first movie people would have the rules down when dealing with a Mogwai:
- Don’t expose them to sunlight.
- Don’t let them get wet.
- Don’t feed them after midnight.
However, people still didn’t learn after a small town was ravaged by the once-furry creatures, resulting in a whole New York City building being swarmed by the scaly critters. After so many hi-jinks, damage, and oddly-comical horror, you’d think Billy would either stop his interactions with Gizmo, or do a better job of keeping up with the rules. But what if he used a storage unit instead?
Had Billy just used a storage unit to keep the gremlins in one spot, he could have followed rule number one about sunlight. Use of a climate-controlled storage unit would prevent high levels of moisture or water in the air from getting the little guys wet. And food in storage units is typically discouraged to prevent pests. Yes, the series wouldn’t have existed and the lovable Gizmo would be much sadder, but at least we wouldn’t have an image of a gremlin in a leopard-print bikini and full make up out there on the internet and in my nightmares.
3. “THE LITTLE MERMAID”
“Look at this stuff! Isn’t it neat? Too bad my father destroyed it all in one furious moment of paternal rage.” Yes, Ariel broke the rules from saving a human’s life. But that doesn’t mean Triton had to destroy all those gadgets and trinkets a-plenty in her secret grotto.
I know under-water storage units aren’t really a thing—yet—but perhaps Ariel could convince Prince Eric to haul a few things to the nearest storage facility. Using security measure like electronic gate access, video surveillance, and just keeping the place locked up could have prevented King Triton from creeping up on the place before he blasted all her collection to bits, especially those 20 thingamabobs, they stopped making those in the 90s.
4. “IRON MAN 3”
You remember that pivotal scene where the Mandarin sends helicopters with missiles to attack Tony Stark’s house after he stupidly gives out his home address on global media outlets? The moment where his whole world comes crashing down (for the third time in the series,) and you’re left to wonder how is he going to survive after losing all of his stuff? While most ask why Thor didn’t swoop in with some lightning, I ask why didn’t he keep his suits in a storage unit?
You can find units larger than 20×40, that’s 800 square feet of usable space, more than enough to stash a few iron suits slightly larger than a man. I know that we find out in the end that his vault of suits was conveniently saved from the damage right at the very end, but, it would have been much easier for Iron Man to drive his Audi R8 to his storage unit, pick up Mark 44, and bring the fight back to the Mandarin. Though, I still recommend keeping the house party protocol, because he doesn’t like explosions?
5. “HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS”
While most storage facilities certainly don’t allow the storage of dangerous chemicals and elements, I think it’s safe to say you can store your craft and hobby items within a storage unit, which is ideal when your hobby is making machines that can shrink your children, resulting in them having to fight giant/normal-sized scorpions and give the rest of us eternal dreams of building-sized snack cakes.
Had Wayne Szalinski done all of his craft work inside a storage unit, a lot of time and hassle could have been saved. Some storage units can even come with electrical access, so he could plug his shrink ray directly into the wall. With something as simple as keeping a lock on the door, there’s no way a baseball or any other object could force the shrink ray to activate, unless of course we needed to bring Rick Moranis back into movies. If he’s willing to come back, I’d volunteer to break into that storage unit myself.